That's what he are.

And today I learned that Bill Vaughan, who wrote the aphorismal "Starbeams" column for the Kansas City Star, also used the pseudonym Burton Hillis. Burton Hillis filled one of the back pages of Better Homes and Gardens as "The Man Next Door." It was about the only thing I bothered to read in BH&G. That magazine was always such a cluttered mess.

A "Starbeam" from Bill:
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
Here's something from Burton:
Burt Jr., will believe almost anything about the future, trips to the moon and all the rest, but I can’t convince him that 100 years from now people will have forgotten that he missed the basket that would have won last week’s game.
Burt Jr. was right. Burt Sr. didn't foresee Facebook, where there is a page devoted to "Growing Up in (Insert your hometown here)" and where classmates will remember that missed basket. If not 100 years later, for sure 50 or 60.

More from B. Hillis-Vaughan can be found at the blog "Butterfly Dreams." The blogger has a collection of Burton Hillis ruminations. I don't know if she has a clipping file of kitchen designs and recipes.

Here's a piece about Bill Vaughan from the June 6, 1960, issue of the Ocala Star-Banner which I found in the Google Newspaper Archives.